Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Could Have been His Last Words

Last Monday, abi went through an operation to lessen the swollen arm due to his weak vain. The vain was actually the one that was used to stick tubes into for his dialysis. Abi is currently suffering from polycystic kidney disease which is where his kidney tends to malfunction due to genetics. My late grandmother (arwah mok cik) suffered from it too. And because of its genetic inheritance, the trait is carried on to the next generation 1 over 2. Thus within my siblings, Amin is the only one to be detected having the same trait so far. And I pray so much that me and Mawardi won’t be having it so that we can care for our brother.

Although abi doesn’t talk much about his sufferings but, surely, you could see it through how he struggles just to follow other healthy peoples pace. Not that my post here wants to discourage him, but to be honored to have a father that really sells his live and sole for Allah. And hopefully Allah will grant him his reward to be placed in paradise with those he looked upon from his history books.

Before abi was taken into the OT (operation theater), he uttered phrases from surah As-Syams to me, amin and umi. Odi wasn’t there since he had to sit his biology paper that day.

وَنَفْسٍ وَمَا سَوَّاهَا
91:7 And the soul and Him Who made it perfect,

فَأَلْهَمَهَا فُجُورَهَا وَتَقْوَاهَا
91:8 Then He inspired it to understand what is right and wrong for it;

قَدْ أَفْلَحَ مَن زَكَّاهَا
91:9 He will indeed be successful who purifies it,

وَقَدْ خَابَ مَن دَسَّاهَا
91:10 And he will indeed fail who corrupts it.

He smiled. That was the last thing I saw from him. Not a tear. Not a smirk of unease. And not a blame he puts on his faith in life. For sure Allah will only test those who are strong enough to face it. And if Allah brings you to it, He will take you through it.

If I could call back the days, abi had entered the OT several time now. And each time before he enters. “Abi redha dengan umi dan anak-anak..”

Abi, how you’ve inspired me to keep on walking this path. A life full of uncertainties but yet an end of wonders for those whom obligates their life for Him. We’ve seen those whom we are sure lived their lives for Allah taken from this world one after the other. Aren’t we convinced that life on earth is just temporary?

Abi, you’re an inspiration. And how I love you so much.

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